The times you came to my rescue when I badly needed company, the nights you stayed up late so you could give me a pair of listening ears – I still remember it all. You were always so kind to me even when I can become the harshest person in the world sometimes. Our friendship has taught me many things.
You allowed me to know your deepest thoughts while I let you carry my stories as well. But right now, hear me out. I am happy to care for you and be your girl best friend through everything, however, I am discovering the position that you and I must take heart in. We are no longer just a boy and just a girl. Yes, we’re the closest of friends but you’re a man and I am a woman. If you know me well, you would understand that I am careful not to play with my conviction. Some boundaries have to be identified.
Don’t get me wrong now. It’s a real joy to be a significant part of your life. However, I should no longer be that person you invite to dinner until midnight to catch up on how’s life been. I shouldn’t be that person whom you pour your thoughts out to whenever you had a bad day at the office. I should no longer be that person you treat to the movies, nor the first person you run to for advice when you make major decisions. The things we thought were “just okay” will only hurt both of us if we’re not watchful.
“Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, making the best use of the time because the days are evil.” (Ephesians 5:15-16)
Every time you choose to come to me, you show me a side of you that is unguarded and unfiltered. It’s not that I don’t want to see you in this state, but a friendship this intimate should only be reserved for one woman. Whenever you open up to me the things that are very personal, whenever you give me a big chunk of your time, I feel like I’m trespassing a place in your heart that only your future wife should be able to access.
And I am not her — at least not now.
Inasmuch as you want me involved in your life, I don’t want to assume a privilege that isn’t mine. My petition is that I won’t be the go-to friend you think about during your times of need. As long as it’s clear between us where we stand, don’t give me most of your attention because I don’t deserve it.
This is not me abandoning you. Rather, this is me protecting you. I want you to know that I love you with a love that is pure. I love you but I don’t want this love to confuse you nor mislead you. As my brother, I want to guard your heart also. There’s nothing wrong with being nice, but you are too much of everything. You are too kind, too welcoming, and too close to me. As I write this, I hope that we may keep things clear and simple from now on.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” (Philippians 4:8)
Let’s not further smudge the lines that are already blurry. By being intentional and discerning, would you help me honor God in my friendship with you? I’ll do my part, too.