Advancement in technology has changed not only our way of living but also our way of reasoning. In one click, we have the access to millions of information online. In one post, we can gather hundreds of comments and reactions from our network over the internet. Evidently, we have grown used to instant gratification aroused by social media.
Do you remember how people used to endure the 60-second television commercials before they could resume to the program they’re watching? Today, we can’t even watch the 5-second Youtube advertisement at the start of the video streaming without feeling bored. Even in the little things, the sad reality is that we no longer know how to wait.
Today, the idea of “meeting The One” is glamorized too often. This thinking gives us a feeling of lack – that we are missing out in life. But princess, do not allow this mindset to steal the joy of your singleness. Your King said that those who seek Him do not lack a good thing. You have everything you need in the presence of your Father. Here are reminders to help you know your stand as a woman who is to be pursued.
1. Know your value. Do not trade the Cross for cheap flowers.
While you are surrounded by friends who already found their lifetime partners, some of us ask ourselves why we still haven’t come across ours. You might worry that time is running out and you’re not getting any younger, or maybe you think you aren’t attractive enough, or on and on and on.
Dating sites, chatrooms and apps have brought new opportunities in finding the right fish, so you take the chance and you upload your best-looking photo online, describe yourself in few adjectives and project an alternate persona over the internet so you become “marketable” at first glance.
BUT princess, you need no false advertisements to enhance your perceived value. Do not cover your true self of things that please the world, for you are not a damaged good. You are undeniably beautiful, even with your unfixed hair and unwashed face.
Princess, you are worth more than a thousand diamonds. God put a value to you when He died on the cross for you. When you were broken and unacceptable, God honored you. He didn’t grumble about the stains of shame on your garment, but He dressed you in white clothing. So do not lower your standards. Do not run after love, but let love pursue you. I beg you, don’t compromise your goodness for the instant romance. Choose the Cross over a dozen roses.
2. You are God’s bride. Be a good wife to Him first.
According to Merriam-Webster, the verb wait means “to remain stationary in readiness or in expectation.”
You see, princess, in waiting, you are told to stay fastened until the right person arrives in front of you. It did not say that you do nothing while you wait, but it said to remain at your position in readiness. And the one who will prepare you is no other than the One who designed you. Devote your time to serve your heavenly husband, God. Because with or without an earthly partner, He is yours forever. In Hosea 2, He promised Himself to us for God said, “And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the Lord.” His love for you will never change, rather, His love will change you.
It is not a sin to desire marriage, but focusing on marriage and putting God second is idolatry. So my princess, surrender your heart to Him, and trust that His timing is perfect. Busy yourself in knowing God and allow Him to maximize your current singleness. Desire that you develop a pure heart and you wouldn’t even notice the longing you have for a partner.
Continue to walk towards the direction of God. He will prepare you for his coming. Yes, he whom you expect is coming. And God will make you a good wife to a happy man.
3. Determine your future husband’s characteristics.
Dear princess, before you recognize who you’re waiting for, identify his qualities first. God gave you the liberty to choose within His boundary lines. The King wants to bless you, so be specific and align your standards to what the Bible says about godly men. Classify among those qualities which are negotiable and non-negotiable and be in faith that God will give you this man. Remember, setting no standards means that all the men who knock on your door are considered qualified to be your husband. I pray that you ask God for wisdom. As a daughter of a King, you should not settle for less.
So envision the man who you want to be with 5 or 10 or even 50 years from now. You do not only accept him as who he is today, but you also accept the different roles that he will play in your life as you age.
When you choose a life partner, you also choose your housemate who will give your future address, your spouse whose shirts you will wash and fold, the father of your adorable children who will raise them with you, your travel buddy who carries all your luggage, your best friend whose day you’ll hear everyday, and most especially, your prayer companion who will remind you to love God more than him.
4. Look at the men around you. Define your friendship with them.
My princess, do not be afraid to establish friendship with men. God will grow you as a woman in your encounters with them. When you qualify a man to be a friend, do not assess if he is a potential-husband material. Do not rate him based on your standards. Do not be biased on who to consider friends. Rather, accept their invitation to build a friendship with you, while practicing clarity, honor, and wisdom in all your engagements. Set clear boundaries with them and be consistent with your actions as well. Do not stir malice in friendships that are pure.
Princess, while you set yourself apart for your future husband, take note that your single male friends also belong to their future wives. When you interact with them, respect their future marriage. Treat all your male friends like a father. In 1 Timothy 5:1 it says, “Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.” So honor them and protect their hearts.
When someone initiates a move on you, don’t lead them on because you feel validated. Do not confuse attention for affection. If a friendship makes you feel uncomfortable, confront them. Settle the confusion between you and the man. If after that things are still uncomfortable, minimize your interaction with them. If they still insist, flee from their presence.
Do not allow a man of God to play around the lines of purity and intimacy. My princess, you are too precious to be a tempter. Do not let the devil use you as a stumbling block for them to obey God. Help them protect their hearts as you protect yours. In Proverbs 4:23 it says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” So princess, guard your heart with all of you.
You are worth pursuing. I pray that you keep your ways delightful in the eyes of your true husband, the Mighty King. <3